Ahh Theology

Is there anything it can't answer?

My favourite quotes:

1. If we evolved from monkeys, then how come we can't speak monkey?
   
   
   My mum always said I was 1/8 Cherokee, but I knew something wasn't right when I accidentally incinerated the garden shed when attempting to send smoke signals. Furthermore, my name isn't prefixed with 'running' or 'dancing'. It's just Dave sadly.
   
   


2. You got it backwards. Creationism is based upon science, reason and tons of evidence. Evolution is based on the blind acceptance of superstitions and fairy tales.
   
   
   Now I'm really confused. Evolution is the one about the chick evolving out of a dude's rib and that other guy evolving water into wine, right?
   
   


3. I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie
   
   
   Sorry, I only got as far as 'Evolution is a'
   
   
   and finally...
   
   


4. A missionary I knew watched a bullet headed for him do a RIGHT ANGLE before it got to him.
   
   
   Surprising: that missionaries have the ability to see speeding bullets.
   Not surprising: that missionaries are being routinely shot at.