Monday, June 30, 2008

On Stalking Beings, and Other Things

He is waiting there again as I close the security door to Cath's building. Turning around, I see that he is staring intently at my movements through his Egyptian eyes. Strange, aloof eyes that don't seem to match his patchwork coat and hairy face; an generally unkempt attire that eludes to a completely different ancestry altogether. I greet him in our usual fashion. He in turn acknowledges me by closing his eyes slightly and nodding. I decide not for the first time that this must be a pretty cool way of saying hello wherever he's from, and begin constructing other mannerisms in my head that might later be incorporated into my daily routine. Waggling my head and blinking furiously, I saunter off with a slight limp to go fetch the morning bagels.

Later that day, running back to apartment to find something, I run past him sitting at a table outside the cafe on the corner of the building. Only too late do I realise who it is I just ran by, and miss the opportunity of trying out one of my new greetings. I feel guilty for about half a second, before going back to trying to remember what it was exactly Cath had asked me to retrieve from the apartment.

It is almost dinner time. After having said goodbye to Kate and Pauley, we shake off the afternoon beers and set about the difficult task of deciding exactly which local restaurateur should delight upon receiving us for dinner. We finally decide on the pub, despite the flimsy argument of superior food quality hanging stubbornly in the air between us like a floating polygraph. Leaving again, I see him sitting once more on the step outside the apartment, and buoyed by the beer I walk up and begin exalting him with the amiability only drunks can muster.

"Kiss Kiss! Who's a pretty boy then?"

"Meow!" he spits, turning on his heel and scurrying around the corner, clearly still pissed at me for having ignored his little stunt of sitting atop a cafe table during the lunchtime rush without getting shooed.

Cats eh. You make one slip up and they're getting all retributive up in your thang as though it was some awesome 80s kung fu movie, but with notably less roundhouse kicking.

Stop animal cruelty NOW! by clicking on Every click will go towards saving one defenceless bunny named Hapless George, who's never been given anything in his life except YOUR CLICKS.
Don't be selfish. George wouldn't want that.


Rosie said...

Stumblor - LOLcats with wurdz.

Kath Lockett said...

Oh he loves you orright or he wouldn't be hanging around. But as a dog-lovin' reader, remember:
Dogs have owners; cats have staff.

The Blakkat said...

Cats rule the world. Be grateful she acknowledges you exist.

Femikneesm said...

I'd kind of like to see the new greetings you've been working on....

davey said...

Alas, I haven't really been working on any. To my mind, everything has been downhill since 'Aloha'.