One of these kids is doin his own thing..

The headlines that the MSN 'news' channel promotes each day are without exception shallow, vain, depressing, and regularly hilarious; mostly due to their having a complete lack of self-awareness. You'll see what I mean, quite often they'll print a final headline that manages to neatly insult the intelligence of the previous two, but you can tell it's unintentional. It's a bit like the family dog who doesn't quite get why everyone finds his conical neck brace so hysterical, but appreciates all the attention he's getting regardless. You can't blame him -- Understanding conical neck brace humour really is some next-level shit.

I've been saving a few of the better MSN headlines for a while now, and in lieu of finding a final one I've decided to run a bit of a competition, which we'll call the Amazing Stumblor Story Headline Omission Game for the purposes of continuity. I assume the acronym is non-offensive, I really don't have the time to check. I'm a busy guy.

The rules couldn't be simpler: alls you have to do is guess which of the following headlines have been concocted out of the oozy depths of my subconscious (one per game), and you will win an incredible prize!

Said prize remaining undisclosed due to the fact that it totally exists, ok?

Easy one to start with: