Stumblor

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Revised Postcard writing technique

Postcards are great. The only thing that doesn't make them great is a long winded, circular diatribe debating the differences between a church and a cathedral. (We think size and locality)

So, to counteract this alarming trend in the authoring of postal cards, I have conjured a new writing mechanic deigned to bring about it's downfall. There's only a few points to remember, so bear with me.

  • Banal discussions of where you went for lunch should be avoided, unless of course you ate so much cheese you puked.
  • Must at least attempt to be funny. If funny is outside of one's reach, then aim for entertainingly whimsical

I think thats it. Here's an example of one I sent my brother in law:




You see? SURELY he's going to get at least a small kick out of that one. Yes, I also aim for entertainingly whimsical.




Now all i need to do is stop my writing fist from resembling that of a struggling pre-schooler with learning difficulties, and the world's my proverbial oyster.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Davey...well your postcard...what can I say. You'll note I almost resisted the urge to ask about your state of health when you wrote it.
On the subject of writing and reading I thought I would tell you about the book club meeting I presided over while Ruby the short haired dog still resided here. (On my word the following is not the reason that R the SHD is not residing here now.)
7.30pm ..coffee table loaded with cheese plate, crackers,red wine, glasses,etc. R the SHD soring on the rug.
Doorbell rings,I leave to room to greet my friends in the book group.We all make ourselves comfortable and settle in for an enjoyable evening of cheese, red wine, being opinionated, rabbiting on, etc.
I'm enjoying a good old blah, blah, when I notice the cheese plate is looking a bit lean on it..dregs of three cheeses...I'm sure I put out four cheese..where is the jarlsburg..at the same time noticing an angular lump in the stomach of R the SHD still snoring peacefully.. Resisting the urge to shriek a confession and snatch the cheese plate away I fade out lamely. Anyone for more red wine? Who would want to know where the Jarlsburg went? Damn sure I wouldn't if I didn't have to. Which I did unfortunately.
You've got to be in awe of dogs' digestions!
M.xx

Eleanor Bloom said...

You never get to hear 'old-world roofing peeps' enough these days.

I hate writing postcards. You usually have so much to say about all you've been up to that you can't really say anything cause a) there's not enough room on the darn things, and b) not enough time cause 'I'm on bloody holiday so why should I be stuck in my hotel room writing to people!?'.
"Hi, Sitting in hotel room writing postcards. 13 more to go. View is minimal. Mini bar too mini. Wish you were here... etc"

davey said...

Precisely. I also feel a wee bit Machiavellian if i write the same comments on two peoples postcards, thinking somehow that they will collaborate postcards and determine once and for all how socially lazy you are.

Which is a big problem if you have an arms-reach mini bar and 13 postcards to get through. The last one goes something like this:

"Yo toots. Guess how much salami i can eat? If you guessed lots, you're wrong fooooool. I want to grow a beard. Peace out."

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