Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to sign up for your newsletter

The company I work for has long recruited its staff privately. I believe the policy originated back when it was discovered recruitment agencies regularly sold their unborn babies to Hitler so that he could send them into war zones submerged in tanks of Piranhas infected with Typhoid, but I'm not really sure; it was all before my time. We often get calls from agencies demanding to know why it is we operate this way, and they are surprisingly unperturbed when we explain our preference for wishing remain the lone proprietors of our everlasting souls.

The Other Dave took a call this morning.

The Other Dave: I'm very sorry, but we recruit privately.

Underling: Absolutely, but have you ever considered the benefits of specialised help in this area?

Dave: Again, sorry, but our company doesn't require specialized recruiting.

Underling: Fantastic! Because I actually specialise in recruiting for companies that don't require specialised recruiting companies.

Dave: ... ?

Underling: ..I see that my razzle dazzle has left you speechless. Allow me to explain further.

Dave: *click*



I'm currently standing in Singapore Changi Airport on free internet next to a gentleman who is very provocatively clearing his nose every 30 seconds or so. Whoever said travelling isn't glamorous has clearly never rolled like me.

If I don't get the chance to update, or to read your lovely blogs over the next 2 weeks please forgive me. I can only assure you that upon my return I will be refreshed and full of great new ideas and perspectives, and more than likely with a plethora of new Vietnamese curse words. And scurvy.

A big happy birthday to Rosie too! Your hovercraft etc. is in the mail -- I like totally promise and shit.


Felix for Zosia said...

This reminds me of when I worked at the ABC and occasionally had to field calls form call centres asking if they could speak to the business owner, or the person who pays the phone bill. I never quite had the guts to say "let me put you on the air, then you can broadcast to all taxpayers at once".

Rosie said...

have fun on your jollybops, and thanks ever so much for the extravagant birthday promises!

Kath Lockett said...

I know you're galivanting right now, but when you're back in Blogland, I want to tell you - you're tagged - see my entry on 11/3.

davey said...

Heya Mills&Boon!

Back in London now, so will get around to catching up in the next few days. I see my blogroll has only 130 entries to plough through, so might have to pull a few all nighters.

Anonymous said...

I am reading this article second time today, you have to be more careful with content leakers. If I will fount it again I will send you a link