Relationships are for sissies

It seems that these days no relationship starts off clean. Particularly for us late twenty-somethings. We've all had a number of serious relationships, most often with people who we're still trying to be friends with or who are at least within the same friendship circle as us, and i betcha everybody can share an empathetic shudder at the mere mention of *that* breakup.

I've recently embarked on a most-inopportune romance; 6 weeks before leaving the country for god knows how long and with someone whose life is already complicated with love. It is a seriously unoriginal storyline, and one I've heard a million times before from people who have traveled themselves. You know the one: fell in love, couldn't stop thinking about them, spoiled the trip, should have packed more undies, Ibiza is overrated, blah blah BLAH.

So it's a well-used plot. So what? Just because I already knew the ending to King Kong didn't mean that I didn't enjoy the movie. Well, actually i didn't. But that's not the point. The point is that killing monkeys is wrong. Oh no, wait, the REAL point is that when it comes to love you sometimes just have to see things through to their conclusion. Even if that conclusion is hurtful awfulness wrapped in disaster pie. Actually, ESPECIALLY if it's that, because as Newton's second law states: all pie is good pie.

I was discussing this conundrum to my wonderful friend Katie Snowball at the party on Saturday (which RULED by the way - more stories to come later). I was all: isn't she wonderful, so glad you guys like her, isn't she hot and funny, what the hell are we doing ARE WE FUCKING LUNATICS kinda thing. In an effort to reassure me, she told me a story of what happened when her and Paulie got together.

Now first, I'm afraid we need a bit of 90210 background info.

* Katie's 'that breakup' was with a guy called Charlie. It happened a million years ago.
* Charlie is someone we all love dearly, and is still around at all the big things
* Paulie and Charlie have been best mates for ages (Buh-bowwww)
* Paulie and Charlie are sweet now, most likely due to they're being built from radness 2000 awesalium alloy which as we all know is asshole-resistant. Still took an 8 hour conversation and loaaaads of booze, but then, most important things do.

So anyway, it's 3 weeks after the fateful first smooch and Katie's freaking the fuck out. She's in Europe, 8 hours due east of nowhere, alone, and wondering whether pursuing things with Pauly is the right thing to do. She decides to give the universe 24 hours to cough up something poignant - Either she will have a dream about him, get an email from him, or a 'P' shaped meteor will burst through the atmosphere making a 'paaaaaaaaaulieeeee' sound as it careens ground ward.

That night, no dream. No email the next day either. The following night, feeling quite glum and despondent, she meets a random Australian guy and they decide to have dinner together. It was nice, they get along well, and Katie bravely manages to avoid talking about her disintegrating love life. Dinner finishes, and random Australian guy has a bus to catch so makes his farewell; only to return 15 minutes later with a backpack and a quizzical look on his face.

"Just one thing I need to ask you," He ventured mysteriously. "You know Paul Renault, yeh?"

Katie was dumbstruck. "Yes, umm.. shit.. Yes! How would you know that?"

"I knew Paulie when I lived in Canberra, you were in a few of the pictures he had hanging on his wall. I remember your face. He always said the most lovely things about you, and I got the impression he always had a secret sweet spot for you."

Sold, to the weird co-incidence dude who probably travels in an Arabian lamp. You just sealed a romance there buddy, nice job.

Not *quite* as cool as a meteor screaming 'Paaaaaaauuuulliiiiieee' that shoots out of the sky creating love heart shaped smoke rings as it plummets, but it will do in a pinch.



* transcribed (with hideous omissions I'm sure) for the beautiful science nerd of a girl that has crashed my life. It wasn't insured either, cheers.