Sunday, June 17, 2007

Stuff you really don't want to go to jail for

Oh crap, what have i done, why me, jail sucks etc.

Greetings Fish! And welcome to prison. My name is ARGH! COBRAS!, and I'll be your roomie for the next, oh, 8 years or so.

Oh. Um.. pleasure to be here i guess.

The pleasure is ours sir, i assure you.

Would it be rude for me to ask what you are in for?

Well, in a real-life jail context it would be considered the height of rudeness, and I'd probably have to shiv you. However, we live in a fabricated world that is the idle meanderings of a blog addicted web nerd. The likeness of me that you see on the left was screen captured from an early 90s PC game called 'Countdown' running on an software emulated x386 box*. You're that guy from 'some mothers do av em'.

So... we're cool?

As a cucumber.

Swell. So, what are you in for?

I am incarcerated presently due to an unfortunate incident that began amidst a lucid discussion regarding late fees and ended with me stabbing a librarian to death with a fork. I then ate her. With the same fork.

Oooo.. very nasty. Well done.

Thanks. You?

I erm... sold unpasteurized milk.


A fair bit of it actually.


Over many years.

Sooooo, do you wanna be my bitch now or later?

Later, if that's cool.

No dice. Fold my clothes, bitch.

* My Friday nights are getting weirder and weirder. You should have seen the convoluted process I had to go through to get this image. Marcus can testify. In my defence, we did go to a warehouse party afterwards. By my reckoning, the whole night can be looked upon as the social version of going carbon neutral.

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